Mom to Katalaya Belle
Length of Maternity Leave: 12-Weeks
Childcare: Live-in Nanny
What did you struggle with most about returning to work after having your kids?
My experience returning to work was heartbreaking. There are some moms who do great and are excited about going back to their jobs... but I definitely was NOT one of them. My job is fantastic & I honestly really loved it...before becoming a mother. I wanted to spend every moment with her, she was only 12-weeks! I stressed out so much that I was unable to pump so I lost all of my breast milk, and had to go to formula. I suffered from mom guilt, postpartum depression & postpartum anxiety, I literally cried every day for the first two weeks just because I missed her and felt so bad I had to work. However, over time (it's now been 6 months), I feel I am doing the right thing.
What do you find difficult about being a working parent?
The hardest part for me was getting back into the "working groove". I totally lost touch with myself as a career driven individual and every ounce of patience I had was being saved for my at-home life. When in meetings, my mind was constantly revolving and the little voice inside my head was like, "Is she okay? Has she eaten today? Maybe I should call and check in... I wonder if she's pooped yet... oh no! Did I sterilize all her pacifiers?"
What do you enjoy about being a working parent?
When I come home, my baby girl is so happy to see me. She squeals and wiggles and has the biggest smile on her face and regardless of how my day was going, it's just instantly better. No matter how tired I was, she breathes new life into me. Or even if she's asleep, just being able to look at her... it's like, that's my whole life in a baby sized human. Ya know?
After being back at work for some time, have your views about career and family changed?
YES. They have exponentially! That balance will never be even.
Knowing what you know now, what’s one thing you wish you could go back in time and tell yourself as you were preparing to return to work or getting ramped up in your role?
Stop stressing, she will be fine. You'll definitely miss her more than she misses you, she knows you love her. You don't have to check in every 20 minutes. Pay attention in your meetings, everyone is trying to be as supportive as they can. Don't yell at your husband, he's doing his best. This is his first time at this parenting thing too. Don't give up on pumping!
What did you choose for childcare, and how has it been for your family?
Live in Manny (Man Nanny)
Pros : I know she's safe at home. There aren't other children around to give her sicknesses, One person::One Baby, so she still gets the most attention even if it's not from me, Pictures and videos all the time!
Cons: Live in Cost, there aren't other babies to interact & play with.
I suffered from diagnosed unexplained infertility for 3 years. It was December of 2014 when we had agreed on trying for our first child. After trying naturally I had went to 2 different specialists who did all the preliminary tests, and they couldn't find anything. I've been on countless medications, and received numerous shots, acupuncture you name it. It wasn't until our IUI, that our beautiful precious baby was in the making. I think that because of my struggles, it made my mom anxiety worse, made me think everything bad that could happen would happen. Maybe if I had gotten pregnant naturally I would have been less worrisome and I could have had a better time returning to work. Even though returning to work has been the hardest part of motherhood in my own experience, I'm glad I can say I provide for my daughter in every aspect I possibly can. I hope my story helps at least one other mom who thinks they are alone. Working Moms are superheroes!