Mom to Annabelle and Bryce
Length of Maternity Leave: 4-months
Childcare: Daycare and Nanny
What did you struggle with most about returning to work after having your kids?
Guilt. On both sides of being a working Mom, there is guilt. You leave your baby for a job you love, guilt. You suddenly are watching the clock so you can leave work as soon as it is possible so you can return to your sweet new baby, guilt. Constant, gut wrenching guilt that no matter what I was doing, even if it was making me happy, I was letting a side of me down.
What do you find difficult about being a working parent?
Honestly, it eats up so much time. Being full-time and in leadership means 40+ hours is not uncommon. The set schedule and having to be present feels suffocating to me now that I am a Mom, especially after having my second child!
What do you enjoy about being a working parent?
Knowing that at the end of the day their Mom is taking life and running with it makes me feel proud. In my daughters 3 years of life, I have been very cognizant to avoid saying phrases like “Mommy, can’t because she has to go to work” or “After work we can”. Sure, Maybe at the end of the day, it will mean nothing to her but for me it has played a big role in helping me feel more confident in the fact that being a working mom doesn’t mean I am taking anything away from my children.
After being back at work for some time, have your views about career and family changed?
10-months in with my second child and I feel like in a sense, I’ve broken up with my career… and I’ve never felt more free. I show up, I give 110%, I love my team and work fiercely when I am there. But now I’ve learned to completely leave it at work when I walk out of the office at the end of the day. Yes, having children means prioritizing your time but I’ve learned that more than anything it means prioritizing your energy. I am still chasing my career goals but not at the cost of depleting my energy cup to where I have little to give outside of that. What a gift we have been give to raise the future! The responsibility to raise these little humans up to be loving, giving, and kind in this world is not an easy task! I have realized that If I let work consume me while I’m physically there and then mentally consume me when I’m gone I am serving no one. My children and the people they will impact in their life deserve the best, present in the moment mom and that is what I’m giving them.
Knowing what you know now, what’s one thing you wish you could go back in time and tell yourself as you were preparing to return to work or getting ramped up in your role?
I remember crying with my first child, I mean seriously ugly crying in her nursery and no words could help. All I wanted to do was stay home and be with her. I would have given a limb, folded paper bags for the rest of my life if that meant I could be with her. But then, one day, out of nowhere, it felt like I raised my head and it was all clear. I started focusing on the positives and it completely changed my mindset and I have not lost that approach. The power of positivity is ridiculously effective! I would tell myself from the beginning to focus on this mindset. It would have saved me some tears and my husband from feeling so helpless as I went through that stage.
What did you choose for childcare, and how has it been for your family?
Daycare and Nanny
Having a nanny has been fantastic! Definitely expensive which is a hard pill to swallow but ultimately we’ve decided that having the time back from not having to do drop off and pick up is well worth it. Avoiding that extra stress in our season of life is well worth the money.
What an honor it is to be asked to share my experience with other working moms. Only by sharing and loving each other through these battles can we raise our children to change the world. Motherhood can feel so isolated at times regardless of working or staying home. It will keep feeling isolated for new moms if those of use who have gone before never step out and say, “it’s ok- I’m here for you”so Thank You!! Thank you for letting me step out and share my story.